Ever since he got his license, and that little car of his, he's been acting like a big shot." If you had let us use your room, we wouldn't have gone over to Carley's house. It wasn't that good with him anyway. You were bigger than he is now, back when we were ten. You remember those times we played doctor? Good riddance, I say. Carley's welcome to him if she wants him."We walked the rest of the way home, talking about school things mostly. When we reached her house, we stood out in the front and kept talking about the upcoming weekend, and our plans on how to spend it. Dani was trying to decide if she wanted to go to a birthday party for one of the girls in the group she now socialized with. She was afraid Cal and Carley might be there too."You can't spend the rest of your life trying to avoid them. They're the ones that should be worried about running into you." I know. I still don't think I want to go. I hate all the gossiping the people at our school do. I think I'll give it a. I love you. I love you.’ I had to keep repeating it as if to make me believe myself. I hugged her and pulled her body to mine. ‘Things are different now, Janet. When I hug you I know another man has done that also. When I kiss you, I know your lips don’t belong exclusively to me. I was afraid of this. I feared I would feel this way. I’m sorry but I can’t undo what has happened. I love you Janet. I always will but things are different now. I can no longer claim you are mine and only mine.’ She just hugged me and clung to me. I continued. ‘I’m beginning to verbalize my thoughts more easily now that we are physically together again, here with only you and me. No Bob and no Jennifer in here with us in person at least. I have violated my promise to you. I fucked another woman. I enjoyed it at the time. Now I’m ashamed of myself. My personal integrity has been cracked permanently. I am no longer the man I wanted to be. I am just another cheater. Yes, I know, you agreed to my fucking her.
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